Sunday, June 26, 2011

Being a Wife

I love being Jorge's wife. I enjoy making him dinner and being by his side. I like being able to reach out in the night and feel him next to me. I love being in his arms. I like knowing that he is my best friend and that no matter what I need, he is there.And I get great satisfaction out of showing him how much I love him!
We have a book called The Five Love Languages. Now, I know that probably not everyone enjoys reading things like that, but we do. We like figuring out ways to love each other better. Reading books like this helps us to learn more about communicating, about loving in a way that our spouse understands. It helps us to know each other better and connect on a deeper level! 
Through reading this book, I have learned that my husband's primary "love language" is acts of service. That simply means that when I do things for him, when I SERVE him, he feels loved. Example- when I stand at the sink and wash dishes, I used think of it as just a chore. But then one day my husband told me that watching me at the sink or mopping the floor or doing pretty much any other household chore has a profound effect on him. It makes him feel very loved and cared for! (You know that warm gooey feeling you get when your hubby brings flowers, or whispers romantic words, or does whatever it is that makes you melt inside? Well, THAT is what me just doing CHORES does for my husband!)  A simple act of service, even if it is something ordinary, literally SHOUTS to him that I love him! Cooking dinner, cleaning the house, simply SERVING him makes him feel loved. YES, touching and cuddling and talking are still important- acts of service is his PRIMARY love language but it isn't his ONLY love language!- but just these simple little things we as wives often take for granted, can speak volumes to our men!!!
Knowing this has led me to see my housekeeping in a different light. What I used to see just as chores, now has become an act of love. I try to put extra thought into making the bed just so, or putting the dishes away instead of leaving them in the rack. I don't do this because my husband is a neat-freak. That IS NOT what I am trying to say! When my husband watches me zipping around the house or cooking his favorite meal in the kitchen, he knows that I am doing it because I LOVE HIM! And above all else, I want my husband to feel loved!
Maybe some of you are reading this and wishing you knew how to figure YOUR man out. Well, that takes communication!!! And communication is a hard thing to do. A wise person once sent me a Bible study that included this thought:
"Communication takes perseverance--and the very strength and courage of God's Spirit--to replace impatience, insensitivity, and self-preoccupation with loving communication patterns."
Your relationship can only improve as you learn to communicate with your spouse. (Communicating DOES NOT just mean telling your husband what you want HIM to do for YOU- it also means asking him what HE needs from YOU.) Ask your husband (or your wife!) what makes him feel loved. Or, try what my husband recently asked me: "What are five ways I could make you feel like I really, REALLY love you?" Write down the response. And then start trying to do AT LEAST one of those things every day!!! Do this for two weeks, and see what happens! :-)

WIVES!!! I encourage you, if you have never done it, to study what the Bible says we should be for our husbands! I know that some of you think the Bible has out-dated thoughts on the subject, but I think you will find it is still very relevant! More on that later...

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